For those who carefully read the last things I wrote, there’ll be no difficulties in understanding what I’ll be writing now. Some things change very quick hand hasty and so I now know when the day approaches, that i fear most. Theres still time I have to manage some things, but, as i said to a good friend of mine, “whats a year besides the fear of loosing someone important”. There are several thoughts on my mind, about leaving the country after studium and work in a country far away. I’ve already started learning their scripture and language will follow very soon.
Theres one thing on my mind that keeps me living right now and makes me willing to survive. You can only reach wour aims, if you start walking. Just waiting won’t get you anywhere. So I’m still walking, if i stumble, it will all be over.
Apart from that, perhaps, i’m currently learning to say “no”. Its just a question of being rude, thats not very familiar to me. But some people are just consider help as a certain thing. But be sure, I won’t start being ignorant, but perhaps just a bit more certain about my freetime.
Today I’m creating Katakana vowel signs and stick them all over my place. Its easyer to learn the meanings of those unfamiliar signs, if you get familiar to them. Its a bit difficult and I wish i had started earlier with that, but I consider it just as a matter of keeping moving ;).
When talking about moving, there are some more things on my mind. Plans about moving away have grown a bit in the last hours. Perhaps, today, a friend of mine is coming along with a form to fill out for getting a flat. This matches the topic again, because its saying goodbye (I’m accidently typing “goodbyte” all the time, so i NEED A VACATION!) to my old surroundings. Everyday, if I do a new design installation in my room, hanging some pictures on the wall or stuff like that its just a strange feeling that asks me “Does this still make sense? You’re moving away soon! Don’t overdo it with making this place feel comfortable!”. Its perhaps redicolous, but a bit scary, too. If I was younger, everytime, I was picturing myself in the furure, for example in a job or somethig, it was my room or another familiar place I saw myself in. Its strange that we humans are so terribly unflexible, like sticking in our old places!
But let this be enough talk for today!
Your starseeker (who has long found but never reached his star so far)