…left less space for the things, happened yesterday. Its was somehow sad, but also long needed. Its like that, that we often even don’t know what we expect to happen to get happy.
Yesterday was the first day of Caros Abitur exams and I asked her to drink a coffee with me after her first exam. The school is right beside the shop where I work, so that hadn’t been much afford, but a lot of fun. I usually start working 12:00 these days but I was at the shop at 10:00 already, to meet Caro if she finishes earlier. It was all dark at the shop and Marc (one chef of mine) hadn’t yet arrived, so I stood in front of the main window and waited… waited for her to show up. During that i listened to a very good CD, i even got yesterday…. one song sais “She has no time” … and made me somehow feel sad. I wished that she would just come around the corner with a smile on her face, but she didn’t … . I was standing there until at around 11:00 Marc arrived and we started working. As we unpacked the packages with deliveries, she passed by the window, with a face that nearly made me cry… but she went further to the city, didn’t remember my question… it made me so sad that whole day.
At work i reorganized all the cables, which kept me from thinking, i repaired some systems, which also kept me from thinking. Thinking about people you like can kill you, i’m sure. So i didn’t think about that the whole day, but felt very sad.
At home, i talked to my very best friend, and she and i decided to change our whole life into something we can get happy with. I also talked to her about Caro and my feelings, but i think its just a question of time, if i can ever talk to her without falling in love again.
We both decided to look after each other… and i am very happy to have her as a friend. So thank you for saving my life again 
Till then, its just me and my stars again…