Currently, I’m on the train to Wuerzburg. Thats the second of 4 Trains, i’ll have to ride until I am in Roedental near Coburg, where Inoad will pick me up. The first train was from my hometown Xanten, departure 12:00, then I waited in Duisburg nearly 45 minutes and am now on ICE727. The other passengeers are very very openminded and talk to each other… that was diffferent in the other train and on the platform, where I was waiting.
4 People were sitting there, all bored and alone (except a couple, that had just devorced or such… they were screaming and shouting at each other until he left on the train and she staied with me and the others at the platform, criing terribly) and quiet. I treid to start a conversation with a man, sitting witch me on the bench, but he ignored me… so I ignored all the others, took me iPod and listened to my favorite “Garbage” Album. Its really sad, how people treat each other nowadays and slowly, I am getting bored. How should i get to know new people, if everybody ignores each other.
In front of me at the table, there is sitting a nice older couple, who travel from Duisburg to Munich. My train goes to Munich, too but they have to change the train in Wuerzburg, just like me. Its terribly strange, how a company can treat people like that.
Currently I am thinking about, what i did to my friend Tim. We decided to live together as a comunity in Oberhausen, but i just can’t. In major, its not him (well… perhaps a bit, but that hadn’t been a cause for me to cancel the whole thing) but me, who messes up the situation. I currently just can’t live with someone in the same flat. I just wan’t to be alone, studiing, achieving my goals and making my dreams come true on my own.
Apart from that, he doesn’t know me very well (even if I am sure he thinks that after the 2 Years we know each other). He really doen’t know or at minimum doesn’t understand how I sometimes feel about lonleyness. As i know him, he’s a person who just can’t be on his own and feels uncomfortable, if he iis alone. Maybe that is why he told me, that I broke his base, he currently stands on.
On one side, i think that i am a coward, not to try it… on the other hand, I think, if i push my self too much to try it without really wanting it, it might break later on… and I don’t want to think, of the base, that might brek for him, then. Hes a friend of mine after all… thats what i think. He tried to call me in the last days, when i was off, so i still have no further reaction, but i could understand, if he distanced totally from me.
So… while thinking and not having to drive by myself… the Starseeker